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| "Our children are not ours because they share our genes... They are ours because we have had the audacity to envision them. That, at the end of the day...or long sleepless night, is how love really works."
-author unknown This child is worth the ride. We are on a ever so bumpy road with our sweet Audrey. A road so challenging it hurts when you hit the low and takes your breath away when you hit the high. Today we celebrate six months of life with Audrey. So much has changed and yet as I write this I am overcome with emotion not unlike the feelings I had just six months ago in China the day I met my beautiful daughter. No more to be said of the challenges we have faced with our strong willed daughter. I would rather focus on her strength. She is filled with determination like no other human I know. It is the cause of any friction between her and i and the very bit of her that has helped her to survive. Her skills come from long ago I'm sure. Protecting her inner self. Let me tell you this kid is FULL. Over flowing with sweetness and goodness. I love her in a fierce way for all she has to offer. I love her for the tough shell she hides under and for the softness she shows others everyday. We made no mistake in adopting again. We saw who she was and where she can go, we did not give up. We are so lucky to have her teach us about life. The six months are a blur. I really wish that I had more time to blog our home journey. It seems the hours of the day slip by and then the weeks and now months. I want to brag about how hard she works at school. Math is her strong point. Reading her challenge. She was delayed so much. Even after summer schooling we found her to be at a kindergarten level in most areas. We know she lacked in her education but we had no idea how much..... With the help of her incredible school and her teachers who care so much for her she has blossomed. We know she can do it but it will take time. We have been lucky enough to have the worlds greatest ELL teacher( you know who you are) for her in addition to the most caring of fourth grade teachers. Her teachers go ABOVE and Beyond the norm to find the best learning environment for her. We could not ask for a better school situation. Now we just need time for her to develop the skills to move forward. Socially we have an amazing girl. She has made friends so easily and really loves the girls around her. She has bonded now with all of her siblings and cares deeply for Zach. Trust me they have their moments but in general our kids have all figured out this crazy process of getting a new big sister from China. She is working on family dynamics still. Tattling on everyone and being VERY bossy is our biggest issue with her. She still wants to argue EVERYTHING with me in a rather loud voice. The crying fits still happen-rarely but they do- even this morning we had a rotten start. Me in my robe on the front porch sending her off to school crying. Her telling me " you bea mean giurl, you say me say sorry aldime, you say i not bea nice girl, you say........" and the you says when on.....very loud and very disrespectfully. What I did say was we need to work together , be nice, and you have to stop being mean to your sister. She has such a hard time taking responsibility for her actions.... All because she refused to apologize to Abbie after being really very mean to her. Her final words to me under her breathe as she left the house was you not my ma.........I not likea you. Yes it hurt- but not for long because I have the audacity to envision more for her. I KNOW she can give graciously, love unconditionally and trust fully. At 4:22 this afternoon I was greated with a smile and a hug and a nice long letter. "I love Abbie, you are a nice girl. I like you because you are a good sister. Mommy is nice , I sorry I mean sister today mommy . I love you mommy." I can only imageine her thoughts today........ she wants desperetly to succeed in this life of chaos we call THE JOHNSON FAMILY. I am so very proud to be her mommy. As always we give Thanks to God for the five blessings we call our children, the gift of birth and adoption and the curvy bumpy road we call LIFE.......... |
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