Since I have not blogged in over two years I would have to write a book to catch you up to speed. The short of it is after almost three years of being Audrey's parents we can see she has some special needs. Some of which were expected when adopting a 10 year old form an international country. We knew she was going to be delayed, socially, emotionally and academically.
We were unprepared for how much.........I have a serious amount of mom guilt going on. The homestudy agency, adoption agency and all of the adoption books, blogs and websites we used to educate ourselves on this process prior to going in to it never defined the process we are walking through. No book prepares you for the raw feelings associated with everyday struggles in parenting a child especially a post-institutionalized ten year old child. You can read back on this blog to some of our first experiences with Audrey. After the first eight weeks I was honestly just to emotionally exhausted to share it all. In a way it was easier to shut down than write and remember. At the six month mark you can read back to see that I saw the light.....and remembered the purpose.
From the beginning we have made mistakes. I have made mistakes. I can't blame Brian...He trusts me to the "research" for the most part. I wish I would have know then What I do now........
We took what is called the "wait and see" approach". In all honesty it was all we knew to do. We waited for Audrey to acclimate to her life here. We waited to see how much language she acquired and we waited to see how she did academically. The whole time using optimism as our friend. We sat by and watched.....so I don't sound like we are completely lazy you have to know that time and attention were and are put into everything we did with her. Love, structure, repetition, discipline, patience and amazing teachers play a HUGE role in the success we have with Audrey today. Waiting and seeing does not include evaluation of your adopted child in her native language. We did not evaluate her. We should have.
Had we evaluated her I know in my mother of five heart that all of her delays would have been very clear and evident. Had we evaluated her We would have immediately seen the cognitive level she was at. It would not have changed our love for her...it would have changed how we parent her. It would have changed how we placed her...how she is educated. It would have made us help others realize right from the start that she was not "just" an English Language Learner (ELL). The school psychologist loves to give us the stats on English Language learners....5-7 years before they catch up...However she forgets to mention that most ELL students come from an environment where they have prior knowledge in their native language to compare and contrast information. Audrey lacks that schema. She lacks a strong prior language. I of course don't have a way to prove that......no school records for our orphan daughter.
If I have one tiny bit of wisdom for any parent adopting internationally at any age it is to have them immediately evaluated in their first language. With this information you can move forward.
We have been stuck.......without an early eval on Audrey she has been "only" an ELL student and unable to get the much much needed Special education services that would so greatly benefit and impact her life in a positive way.
Currently Audrey is emotionally/socially "unaged" meaning in someways she is like a two year old, in some she seems more like a seven year old and then we see the teen in her come via hormones and emotions. She is growing and developing physically. Strong and healthy. Emotionally and socially she is at a standstill. She is no where near her aged based peers and her grade level peers who once were so interested in the pretty girl from China have all moved light years ahead. As one teacher gently put it at her IEP....She is very immature, impulsive and annoys the kids around her. Those kids now avoid her.
Audrey is at a first-second grade reading level. Most of what she reads is memorized ...her comprehension is very little. Math is her strength and is at a second-3rd grade math level but can accomplish tasks at some higher grade levels. Most of this is not consistent. As her math teacher explained......" I can't get ideas across to her as simple as 0x0=0.....". She could do the problem....memorize it. With in days or if new information is given it would be gone.
Audrey scores on the Comprehensive Test for Non Verbal Intelligence put her in the Borderline to Low average range. Meaning her scores are not low enough on this test to qualify her for being considered Cognitively Impaired. Her score is 80. She is at the bottom of the Low average range. Average intelligence is considered 90-110.
In the Wechsler Intelligence Test for children her score was averaged at 67.6% (90-109 is within average) this test puts her in the extremely low range. Breaking this test down she is significantly impaired with her working memory and processing speed. Her working memory is .02. Meaning she preformed better than LESS than 1% (.02%) of children her age.
On her ELPA- (English proficiency tests) for her first two years she actually decreased in listening and reading. Her comprehension stayed the same with no growth. Writing and speaking were a very slight increase. Across the board she falls in the below average to significantly below average range.
On the Behavior assessment given to her teachers she is considered at Risk in her Adaptive skills. Areas she is "at risk" in are - adaptability, attention, functional communication, leadership, learning problems, social skills, study skills and withdrawal, and daily living.
As noted by her teachers and told at her IEP and on her reports Audrey needs one on one instruction to move forward. She is unable to work independently. When left to her self she becomes disruptive to other students, is restless, impulsive, gives up easily, distracted by her environment and has a short attention span. Teachers also noted she annoys other kids and is very immature.
All of her teachers who have had her in middle school class in addition to the school counselor agree that even when placed in a regular General Education with two teachers her placement is not appropriate and in general not a good fit for her situation because she need significant support.
So what are we to do with our child who has no prior knowledge to build a foundation of learning. Her mental file cabinet is empty. Statistically a child in her situation (low IQ) who has a strong foundation behind them ( with a bit higher working memory) could continue to grow and develop. Her scores in writing say she has the "potential" for growth. This prevents her from special education. The reality is she has been here for two and a half years, with one on one help from her previous ESL teacher, home support and tutoring to even get her where she is . If she is to stay in a Gen ED. class with 33 kids being taught 6th grade material she will never go anywhere. She will just stop. In fact, experience ( now we understand based on her working memory scores) now tells us with her that once she does not have consistent, repetitive practice in any area she looses the information fairly quickly. When given too much information for her to process she also shuts down. Her teachers have noted in class that she just goes blank.......we get that at home as well.
So WHAT are we to do......I'm mad........angry....disappointed there is no middle ground. There is a tidy box with many rules.....Our family does not fit in the box. Our daughter does not fit the criteria to get extra help.........She is excluded by culture. Excluded by circumstance, Excluded by language, Excluded by age. Excluded by her below average IQ.
I can't sleep at night...I lay awake for hours trying to figure out what we can do.....
We tried homeschooling her. I could again....except she lost her smile.
In addition if we want any services for her she needs to be in school full time.
Through it all she has no idea. She gets up everyday and looks forward to her school day, to playing with her "friends" at school. On Saturday she asks when it will be Monday so she can go to school again. The routine comforts her.
Am I wrong to think she deserves a fair and appropriate education that meets her needs? Is it wrong to want to see her placed in an environment she CAN grow in?
I am not looking for a miracle. I am looking for what is just and fair.
Next Steps:
We have an advocate for children with special needs through the ARC of Livingston County helping us. At this time we are considering an IEE (Independent Educational Evaluation) by a neuro-psychologist outside of our public school district. We feel there is significant evidence of Attention Deficit disorders along with her deficits in mental cognition that once diagnosed by a medical doctor could qualify her for services.
Stay tuned...this process will take months....In the mean time Audrey will be sitting in 6th grade classrooms and passed along...They can do that. That is legal. A for effort. She will most likely sit and do low level worksheets to fill her time. She will have to bring books from home as they do not have resources at her reading level. Currently her ELL teachers have to use online books we provide or drive to an elementary school to find books appropriate to read and do lessons in. I have a hard time imagining that the social studies, math and English teachers will find time in their day to do that as well. I won't even go into my feeling on the rest of the kids who are in the classes. Average kids like Abbie who have to work hard at school but can do well...unless the teacher has to put all of their time into kids like Audrey who are sitting in the back causing trouble. I feel bad for the child who sits next to her during class and can't focus because Audrey is singing softly to herself and drawing pictures of hearts and rainbows because she has no clue what is going on. I feel bad for the teachers who are already stretched in their classrooms. Most of all I feel bad that my child who thinks it's normal to sit in the back of the class and do nothing.
We have hope.....We have love and we have Audrey........so we will fight for what is right and not give in until we find an answer that fairly meets her needs or she passes through and graduates....What ever happens first........
That was the short version:)
